by Conscious Reminder
Oh, what a difficult time it was.
I think it was more difficult because I didn’t have anyone to share it with.
Yes, I didn’t.
Not even one person to reach out to.
I look back at that time of my life and often think about how even the people whom I knew from my childhood didn’t understand me. But why did this happen?
I think there are many reasons and I came to know about most of these reasons when I saw someone close to me going through an awakening recently.
The first reason is that the experience of awakening is very different for different people. Everyone who goes through awakening goes through their own kind of awakening. So, there is not a single way to deal with people who are going through this process. Maybe, this is why people around me could not understand me because they did not know how to!
The second reason is that when we are going through that process, we are on a journey that most people around us are not. So, this journey is, by its very nature, alone and isolated and we have to go through it alone and come out of it.
The third reason is that people around you may not be very understanding or empathetic of the experience that you are going through. I think it is sometimes difficult to be around a person who is going through awakening so the people around you might choose the easy way out.
But the biggest issue is when your loved ones and friends don’t understand you. I went through a horrible experience with my friends during my awakening because I felt that they were judging me and not making an attempt to understand me, like at all! This was hurtful to me because I was going through a lot of things that I wanted to share with them but they did not want to hear and didn’t even try to hear. This is when I realized the probably I would have to let go off my friendships.
I did and I was happy.
You know why I was happy?
I think it was because I let go off my expectations and my desire to be heard. I realized that this is my own journey and these are my own challenges that I have to sort out on my own and no one is going to help me out except myself.
But recently I realized one more thing.
This happened because I saw someone close to me go through the process of awakening. And she had it perfectly “normal”.
I was stunned but then I asked her about it and she told me that she had it perfectly normal because she didn’t even try to tell the people around her about what she was going through. People around her observed that she was changing and something different was happening to her but when they questioned it, she never addressed the inquiries. Instead, she went through her awakening peacefully and alone and MOST IMPORTANTLY, UNLIKE ME, with all her friends intact.
So, it is going to be different for all of us but the journey is better when you have people around you. They may not be able to help you or guide you or advice you, but sometimes presence is just as good.