It can be difficult to maintain compassion for “normal” or “regular” people when it feels like they are purposely remaining ignorant within the matrix, almost as if they are blatantly refusing to lift the veil for themselves. This can be frustrating, to say the least, especially if you’re in the emotional purging process of awakening, which brings with it a need to clear your chakras, set boundaries, and fully express yourself from a soul level. However, you cannot force an awakening on anyone else—although you can help if you choose to and they are ready, which they may or may not even realize they are—and if you’re feeling frustrated with people in general, this is a good indicator that you may be trying too hard to “make” them see your newly awakened perspective. Unfortunately, this is more likely to drive wedges between you than bring you together, and when you first begin waking up, it’s pretty common to get angry about the state of the world and the humans within it, especially when you begin to learn about just how deep the corruption runs. Like everything else, though, it is your responsibility to move past this type of thinking and adjust your attitude toward your fellow human beings to understanding rather than judgment. This is one of your ego’s efforts to keep its hold on your consciousness, and unfortunately it can have you behaving in ways that can come across as arrogant and closed-minded, which is not what a spiritual awakening is about.
In order to move past this stage in your awakening process, it’s important to remember that we are all created from the same materials with equal potential within this life. Every individual has his or her choices to make, lessons to learn, soul contracts to fulfill, and emotional and spiritual expansion or transformation to undergo. The only difference is becoming aware of this process happening, and that doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else, just a little different.
A spiritual awakening can disrupt your entire life and turn it upside down. Depending on your background and the flavor of layers of epiphany that you end up peeling back, this can look extreme in some cases and not so extreme in others. This is different for each of us based on the lessons we are meant to learn and where we are on our journey. Chances are that there will be some heartache and levels of understanding opening up that you may not be able to express in a healthy way without the inner work to guide you, and without realizing certain ideas about yourself, your journey, and the role other people play within it. Remember that, oftentimes, it is a tangled mess of interaction involving pre-planned experiences, soul contracts, life lessons yet to learn (sometimes repeating patterns until you learn what you are meant to), dissolving generational karma, and reaching the spiritual balance you are meant to reach in the most effective and efficient ways possible, all guided by your inner being or soul, which is connected to Source energy. The more quickly you can learn to follow your inner guidance and accept the lessons your life is presenting you with, the faster your progress through the awakening journey and the more momentum you gain on the path you were meant to live.
There have been many lessons to learn along my own awakening journey, including calming my own shock and outrage at the state of the world, learning to allow other people to be who they are without judging, and taking an understanding stance rather than a critical one. Now, don’t get me wrong… just because you take a perspective of understanding doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone within your life should stay there. Sometimes that is just not feasible, especially if the relationship is detrimental to your own progress as an eternal being having a physical experience. Our paths may cross for a period of time before moving on, each serving to teach and help the other grow in some way, shape, or form.
This is where it becomes helpful to remember that we are each on our own journeys, and those journeys don’t necessarily include all of the people you may have been attached to in the past. You can love people from afar without allowing them to suck up your energy or drain your reserves, and oftentimes, this is a necessary sacrifice during your spiritual awakening. However, it is up to you to discern whether that’s the right course to take or not, and whether that’s the lesson you were meant to learn or if it was another lesson entirely that may require you to keep dealing with those same people until you learn or experience what your inner being intended for you to.
That being said, I want to share some revelations with you that made a big difference for me during this awakening journey. They may only seem like words until they fully click, but once they do, you are likely to experience some very rapid and intense growth, especially when it comes to how you view other people within your life.
1. Trust yourself—your intuition—completely. If you find yourself feeling a certain kind of knowing about something, trust it. If you aren’t fully confident in your ability to follow your instincts, it’s time to build that trust by doing so repeatedly. Yes, you might be “wrong” sometimes, or not. Remember that it’s unlikely that if you sense or experience something “negative” from someone that they will admit to any wrongdoing. This is the ego at work, and oftentimes we come to one similar experience after another in order to learn how to better communicate our own feelings in a loving but firm way. Once you can learn to trust yourself and your intuition, you will be able to sense what’s going on behind the scenes and can respond effectively, keeping everyone’s best interests at heart as you do.
2. Setting boundaries is not a crime, like many of us have been conditioned to believe. If there are certain things that you cannot accept from an ethical perspective, you can make the choice to either let the person know what’s bothering you or to let the relationship grow apart. This is at your discretion, so don’t sever relationships completely if that doesn’t seem like the best course of action to you. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, so at some point it may be best to let the other person know what they did that crossed a line with you so that they have a chance to consider their own part in the issue. They may not accept responsibility, at which point you have to decide whether it’s a relationship worth maintaining or not. Taking personal responsibility for their actions may not be a lesson they’ve learned yet, so it may be necessary to gently show them how, although their experiences with the situation might facilitate the same kind of growth in and of itself. Either way, your only real responsibility is to learn whatever it is that you can from the experience yourself and choose your future accordingly.
3. Remember that they know not what they do. Because of your heightened awareness of the energies around you during your spiritual awakening, you will oftentimes pick up on the emotions of other people around you in a very real and often uncomfortable way. This discomfort could have a number of causes, but it helps to be prepared for what you might feel and stay with it in the moment so that you can determine if it’s yours or someone else’s energy that you’re picking up on. The way I first learned to differentiate between the two was when I was feeling things that I don’t usually feel, more precisely jealousy at someone else’s accomplishments. This is completely uncharacteristic of me and I was the one who had accomplished something, so I knew that this emotional energy wasn’t coming from me, but rather from another person. Unfortunately, this went against what I believe true love and friendship to be at its core (friends should be happy for and supportive of each other, not jealous of the other’s achievements that they worked hard for), so it changed my perception of the person and that particular relationship, as well as of myself. In the long run, this has been a good thing because it taught me a lot of different things on a lot of different levels, as I hope it has for the other person, too.
4. Redefining your idea of love means redefining your relationships or potentially letting them go. The process of setting new boundaries with people who have always been able to push those boundaries and then suddenly can’t may be challenging at times. However, this is part of the process of reprogramming your belief systems, which can involve revealing layers upon layers of conditioning and making sure that you know absolutely what your stance is without taking a defensive posture about it. When you begin to realize what you know is not loving and what you know is, you can better set these boundaries and work on the relationships that you feel are reciprocal and not expend your time or energy on those relationships that are draining you or making you feel taken advantage of. If those are the types of relationships you’re used to having, it can be a little scary to face the prospect of losing them and having few to no relationships for a little while. Don’t allow the fear of being alone keep you in a situation where you can’t thrive; this is up to you to take care of, and until you do, chances are that you will continue to find yourself in the same types of relationships.
5. Remember that all of us operate from a place of either love or fear. Pain, heartache, anger, violence—these are all fear-based emotions and responses, which tells us that the person expressing themselves this way is clearly suffering on some level and has yet to uncover why or what to do about it, if they ever will. Knowing this will allow you to be more understanding of people and situations as well as less emotionally attached and codependent, making it a little easier to back away if needed to protect your own energy. Remember, their emotional baggage isn’t your problem, and you don’t need to add to yours by remaining in a toxic situation or environment, or by giving it so much of your energy.
6. Don’t take things personally. This could be likened to growing a thick skin, but don’t confuse it with shutting off your emotions or allowing yourself to be abused. Rather, learn to see things objectively and without emotional attachment to any one outcome or idea. Your end goal is probably happiness, inner peace, joy, and a higher level of consciousness. With this in mind, realize that we can only steady our so-called wobble (credit to Abraham-Hicks) by slowing our reactions to thoughtful responses and not allowing ourselves to get swept away by passionate emotions. Of course we still feel those very same passionate emotions… however, we no longer feel the need to act on them without prior consideration.
7. Whether they intend to or not, many unconscious people end up pushing your buttons in one way or another. Sometimes it’s something benign and silly, but other times it can be traumatic, as in the case of dealing with individuals who have narcissistic or another type of personality disorder. You may be able to feel their energy and recognize them as energy vampires who feed on drama, pain, and confusion and will play games with your emotions to continue this vicious cycle. The less you feed into their dramas, the less momentum a situation will pick up, and the happier you keep yourself and your energetic frequency. This plays back into not taking things personally, because the less emotional attachment you have to what others think of you, the less power they have over you and your responses.
8. You are not who they tell you to be, nor are you who they tell you that you are. The only person who can define who you are is you, in cooperation with your soul or inner being. You know yourself better than anyone else knows you, and don’t let them tell you otherwise. Oftentimes we grow up hearing our parents tell us, “I know what’s best for you,” or, “I know you better than you know yourself,” which implies that we are incapable of knowing who we truly are, and the only way we hold any value is by serving those who tell us who we are and what to do (because they know what’s best and we take those words as truth… until we don’t). This is part of the conditioning that keeps people trapped in the matrix and this dysfunctional system in which everything has such stark contrast. If we could somehow lessen the extremity of this contrast, we could be very close to heaven on earth, and I believe that those polar energies are going to meet very soon. The lessons we are meant to learn are being taught, on a micro and macro scale, and we shall soon see how all of this energetic stuff plays out.
In the meantime, remember that we are all on this journey together, and that adding to the negative collective energies is not the way for us to move forward. When dealing with unconscious people, see them through a lens of understanding and compassion rather than judgment and subsequent assumption. Not only will this help to avoid petty misunderstandings and heal you and anyone else involved, but it will also help in healing the collective energies, in turn raising the vibration of the planet. You will also avoid creating self-fulfilling prophecies within your physical experience, which in turn leads you to more and more positive manifestations and fewer negative ones.
No matter where you are on your awakening journey, remember that your interactions with others are one way in which you can help to raise the vibrations of the planet as a whole. Even the most seemingly benign interaction with another human being can be one that changes the course of someone’s entire day, so do your absolute best to be kind, open, and bring positive energies into the world around you. These energies are infectious and can cause a ripple effect of kind deeds and words, making many people experience better days than before. You never know what someone might be going through, so compassion is always your best bet, even if the person may seem like a jerk or whatever other snap judgments come to mind.
It’s important to know that having snap judgments about people is a natural and normal process to experience. Your impression of other people will often be based on past experiences and life lessons, but be careful not to project your negative experiences onto people with whom you have not had any negative experiences, especially if you’re just basing your opinions on emotional flashbacks, a very common aspect of CPTSD after narcissistic or spiritual abuse, mistaken for intuitive interpretation. When we begin to understand this, we begin to take a second look at the assumptions we make about other people based on their actions and words. Someone may be completely different from the person who did or said the same things, and context will also be different, so what was true in one situation for one person may not be true in another situation with another person, even if the situation is similar.
It can be a little challenging to get to this place of inner peace and non-judgment, but don’t give up. Express your emotions in ways that don’t involve others so that you don’t just react and can consciously and lovingly choose the right response. Sometimes the right response will involve a need to set boundaries or even making the decision not to be as close to certain people anymore due to a clash of core beliefs or a violated boundary that is in direct opposition to your evolving definitions of love and friendship, which is a very common revision during spiritual awakening because we begin to put our own wellbeing first, and when others can no longer drain us of our time and energy, they tend to disperse or even react in volatile or destructive ways, sabotaging the relationship on many levels. This is because you are choosing individuation rather than codependency, and that is your best course of action for yourself, but then they can no longer use you to supply their needs, and this tends to freak people out on a subconscious level, so they may react in ways that aren’t beneficial for anyone (except for themselves, usually).
When you feel betrayed or screwed over in some way, it can be extremely difficult to maintain your inner peace and not lash out at the people who wronged you. However, lashing out is a form of resistance, and what you resist will always persist. If you are experiencing anything like this, take a few steps back and distance yourself from the problem for a little while. Once you do that, you will be able to gain some perspective and come up with much more positive and mutually beneficial solutions as needed. Remember that everything is energy first, and your emotional state plays a very important part in the physical manifestation of your life. So, yes, while others might call you selfish for focusing on your own life and your own needs, that is their take on a situation that they do not have all of the information for because they are not you, so don’t worry about it. They are entitled to their opinion, and you are entitled to yours, but you shouldn’t let someone else’s opinion deter you from your life’s purpose or mission.
Be yourself. Truly. Connect with your spirit, your inner being, your soul… trust your intuition and remember that you are the only person who is with you for your entire life. No one else. So, why allow anyone else’s junk to define any part of you? It just doesn’t make sense to do that. You are a unique, beautiful, and amazing individual with your own perfectly divine soul, connected to Source, connected to everything else, with the exact life experiences that you need in order to learn everything you must learn. It all happens in divine timing, and oftentimes you cannot see the bigger picture until well after the experience, but it all comes together exactly the way it must for your unique perspective’s ideal understanding of each circumstance, and for your soul’s evolution. The underlying energetic system that is existence is so perfect, so incredible, and so well created that we are all participants whether we participate consciously or just run on autopilot. Either way, it is absolutely perfect.
Do you feel like you need help navigating all of this inner work and emotional purging? If so, and if my articles resonate with you, I invite you to fill out the application for coaching services at http://www.mindfulhealingpress.com/coaching.html. It can be challenging to wander through this life alone during a spiritual awakening, so there are certain times when a like-minded individual who has experience and insight can help you to feel less alone as well as appreciating your inner work breakthroughs and uncovering aspects of yourself that may have been hidden. For those who don’t have epiphanies and breakthroughs all the time, it will be difficult to understand. However, when you’re having all of these realizations on a constant basis and wish you had someone to get excited with you, a coach can be a great benefit and help you to pick up momentum within your own life and spiritual journey.
Much love to you, my friend. I hope to see you again soon =).